“What? You don’t love me for my subtlety”
– Julia Quinn, Bridgerton –
Let’s talk about public sex. Generally, being naked in public is fantastic — exposing your body in its most primally vulnerable state to our mother nature can be liberating as fuck. But don’t get me wrong… I’m not an exhibitionist (I’m not trying to kink shame any of you). Unless you’re Timothée Chalamet, I detest the idea of my flat ass being objectified by some creepy dudes. And don’t get me started with my overwhelming stage fright and riddling anxiety of having strangers judge my dick-riding prowess. That said, public sex could be a truly magical adventure that I wish all of you could experience one day. Let’s just say that the only thing stopping me from blowing a stranger’s dick at the beach is the fear of going to jail for public indecency.
Does anyone want to buy me a private island with a pristine white beach where I can have biweekly, obnoxiously loud sex on?