“If you play in the sewer, you’re bound to get some mud”-
– Tyler Oakley –
When I was little, never in a million years did I think I could fit an erect penis up my tuchus. The only things that had ever traveled through my cave of wonder were the waste products from all the McNuggets I digested throughout my life. I mean… for the longest time, I had assumed that my chamber of secrets, guarded by my lush jungle of pubic hair, was meant to be a one-way street. I wasn’t equipped with the knowledge of rectal douching, or more importantly, why it’s necessary for some specific occasions. I didn’t know there was such a thing called “bottom-friendly diet”, a diet specifically catered for bottoms to avoid unpleasant surprises. It’s a shame that I had to learn all of these from experiences, PornHub, and shady websites written by corporates pondering to the gays. Unfortunately, I didn’t know all of these before I invited my muse for this chapter for an afternoon quickie.
So ladies and gentlemen, buckle up because I’m about to present to you one of the shittiest sexperiences I had to endure (pun very much intended). Enjoy!
