X. The Guy Who Kissed Me In A Gay Bar

“So kiss me on the mouth and set me free, but please don’t bite”

– Troye Sivan –

If you’ve never been to a gay bar, you should; it’s a magical place (supposedly) full of bliss and acceptance. Especially if you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community, it’s one of few places where you (again, supposedly) can feel like you belong, especially if you live in a place filled with people who believe in heteronormativity. Regardless of your sexual orientation, gay bars can be fun. I mean, if you’re not really looking to mingle with anyone (which I think you should), it’s always fun to watch the kweens wholeheartedly lip-sync to some Britney tunes while twerking their non-existent booties like their rent is due in an hour.

IX. The Guy Who Introduced Me To Poppers

“Really, queen?”

– Bianca Del Rio –

Have you ever had sex in an altered state of mind? I’m not saying that it’s the best way to have sex, but it does feel fucking amazing when it’s done correctly with consent from all parties involved. I mean, why else do you think people down hard liquors at lightning speed in a bar? Sex is about opening yourself up to someone else to experience your body in its most vulnerable state. With society making sex a taboo subject, it’s almost impossible not to worry about some things when being intimate with your partner(s). Drugs or alcohol help take those worries out of the equation, and they let you experience sex to a heightened level.

VIII. The Guy Who Was Into Photography and Handjobs

“I don’t do that tongue thing!”

– Mushu, Mulan

No, this story isn’t about me becoming an amateur pornstar, and you won’t find a video on XTube with my face on it. But this next guy did teach me about photography and offered to shoot me in compromising positions for our personal consumption. Did I say yes to his proposal? Of course not. Was I intrigued by the idea? That’s a completely different question… I could barely see my own body in the mirror without feeling extremely insecure, let alone seeing my naked butt on PornHub.

VII. The Guy Who Catfished Me

“Life experience is what defines our character, even if it means getting your heart broken or being lied to. You know, you need the downs to appreciate the ups”

– Nev Schulman –

To those of you who keep saying “don’t judge a book by its cover“, stop lying to yourself. In one way or another, we judge others by their appearances. For some reasons, gay men are especially shallow when it comes to who they let suck their dicks. Unfortunately, Grindr only makes it easier for gays to objectify others as if they are a piece of meat auctioned in a meat market.

VI. The Guy Whom I Had Sex With In A Sedan (Part 2)

“So baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover”

– The Chainsmokers feat. Halsey-

Have you ever felt comfortable sharing your personal stories with someone within the first fifteen minutes of meeting them? There’s a certain quality about the “car sex guy” that made it easy for me to vibe with him. For all I know, he could have been plotting to steal my personal information and sold it to the Russian government. I personally believe it’s especially easier to bond with someone before/after you have exchanged body fluids with them (especially if it’s done in an unconventional place). It’s not necessarily a love-at-first-sight situation; I just somehow felt the undeniable chemistry between us.

V. The Guy Whom I Had Sex With In A Sedan (Part 1)

“WARNING: The following show features stunts performed by professionals. Accordingly, MTV and the producers must insist that no one attempt to re-create or re-enact any stunt or activity performed on this show”

– Jackass –

Things can be complicated when your wallet is thin and your libido is high (I think this will be a recurring theme in my stories). When I just turned eighteen and discovered the world of gay sex, I wanted to explore every aspect of it as much as I could. It’s like when you were a little baby and got introduced to ice cream for the first time; you simply couldn’t get enough of it. And you wonder, “why do adult gay men act like reckless horny teenagers all the time?” Because when our straight counterparts got to experience high school romances, we were busy trying to stay under the radar by pretending to salivate over that one girl in high school with the biggest pair of boobs sitting at the popular kids’ table. Anyway, where am I going with this? 

IV. The Guy Whom I Met At A Private Sauna

“Every kiss begins with k”

– Kay Jewelers –

What’s a private sauna, you might ask? Imagine if all the amenities of a public sauna are all put together in a small room. You can basically rent the room on an hourly basis, and each room has its own wood sauna box, a shower, a jacuzzi, and a twin-sized mattress (only the cleaning ladies *bless their souls* and God know what people had done to/on those mattresses). The result? A perfect place for two sexually charged individuals to have a mischievous rendezvous. The establishment was probably built with good intention in mind, but you can’t help but think that the owner designed this place for cheaters like Donald Trump. (Ok, maybe not Donald Trump… his garage probably has its own private spa, in case he needs to host a small golden shower gathering with some low-end prostitutes). This place just screams, “somebody please have an affair here!”