“WARNING: The following show features stunts performed by professionals. Accordingly, MTV and the producers must insist that no one attempt to re-create or re-enact any stunt or activity performed on this show”
– Jackass –
Things can be complicated when your wallet is thin and your libido is high (I think this will be a recurring theme in my stories). When I just turned eighteen and discovered the world of gay sex, I wanted to explore every aspect of it as much as I could. It’s like when you were a little baby and got introduced to ice cream for the first time; you simply couldn’t get enough of it. And you wonder, “why do adult gay men act like reckless horny teenagers all the time?” Because when our straight counterparts got to experience high school romances, we were busy trying to stay under the radar by pretending to salivate over that one girl in high school with the biggest pair of boobs sitting at the popular kids’ table. Anyway, where am I going with this?
There’s a reason why San Francisco is dubbed as the world’s gay mecca; there is an abundance of open-minded, educated, and attractive gay men in all colors and sizes who are always ready to play. I lived about an hour drive away from San Francisco at the time, so it’s a bit tricky to advertise myself to the high-quality homosexuals in the city. Don’t get me wrong, there were some attractive men around my area, but most of them were already married (to a woman) and had kids. I wasn’t trying to destroy a family; at least I wasn’t trying to do it on purpose.
When this six feet one Caucasian guy messaged me on Grindr, I was bummed when I discovered that he lived in the city. “There goes my opportunity to score a long-term dick“, I thought. We ended up chatting for a little bit and per usual, things got sexual (it’s Grindr after all). From what I can remember, this guy was fairly attractive. But at the time, I wasn’t really desperate for a dick (emphasis on at the time). There’s no way I would spend more than $100 USD on cab rides for a dick appointment.
To my surprise, this guy was willing to drive from San Francisco to meet me. I thought, “holy shit, did I accidentally use a picture of Matt Bomer on my Grindr profile?” Not to toot my own horn, I know I am fairly attractive, but I am aware that I don’t have the beauty that warrants an hour drive for some random booty call sex.
So now what? It’s around 9 PM at the time and the private sauna place was already closed. We had nowhere to go where I could freely entertain his penis until the sunrise. When we were almost running out of ideas, he said:
“We can drive somewhere and have sex in my car *wink*”
Now, hear me out. I know what you were thinking. There are soooo many things that could go wrong here. He could have kidnapped me, mutilated me, and sold my kidneys to China. He could have drugged me and sold me to a psycho billionaire as a sex slave. But at the time, I let my “other head” did the thinking and he had already made his mind. He said to me:
My Grindr date told me to meet him in the parking lot of my apartment complex. I wandered around the parking lot and I spotted his grey Corolla. This. Is. It. As I was walking to his car, I tried imagining what I would request as my last meal if/when he tried to keep me hostage and killed me in the next seven days. I opened the front door of his car and fortunately, I wasn’t being catfished.
It was obvious that we were both nervous. As we were chit-chatting while we were trying to find a dark, secluded area to blow each other’s gear stick (😉), he started to warm up to me and told me a little bit more about him. “This guy is actually nice”, I thought.
We started making out right after he parked his car on the street right in front of an apartment complex (way to be subtle, I know). My lips and his penis instantly became two magnets that could never defy the law of magnetism. Next thing I know, my lips were already going up and down his shaft. I firmly believe that the person on the receiving end of a blowjob should be responsible for ensuring the secrecy of the sacred ritual, and this guy did exactly that. Just like a royal guard, his eyes patrolled our surroundings to ensure that the king (his penis) was safe in his castle (my mouth) without any intrusion. It felt so wrong yet it felt so right.
After we finished tasting each other’s sausage, we pulled our pants up and he drove me back to my apartment. We hugged each other and as we were saying our goodbyes, he said, “we should meet again sometimes”. I went back to my room and could not believe what just happened. What was I thinking? Everyone knows that you shouldn’t get into a stranger’s car willy-nilly. I could have been arrested for indecent exposure. But I don’t know… there’s something about his smile that made me feel safe.
But yeah, don’t just get into a stranger’s car. Just don’t. Especially if it’s only because of his smile. It’s really bad for your physical and mental health.