XIX. The Guy Who’s Got A Big Penis

“Fear is not evil. It tells you what your weakness is. And once you know your weakness, you can become stronger as well as kinder”

– Hiro Mashima –

It’s fascinating how most humans share the same functioning organs, but they naturally come in various shapes and sizes. There are some guys who literally have to sell their soul to the gym and still manage to look smaller than his neighbor who spends most of his nights on the couch watching the Bachelorette while munching on chips and salsa. There are some tops out there who wish he could have swapped penises with the hung guy he fucks every Saturday night. I wish there was a way where we could trade/transfer certain parts of our body to someone who needs it more, Pokémon style (because why not). I mean… if only I could transfer some of my body fat to the girls who want to transform their knockers to look more Pamela Anderson-esque. Wouldn’t it be cool?

To say that this next guy is huge would be an understatement, and I’m not just talking about his penis. Standing at 6 feet 4 inches and weighing over 200 pounds, he’s easily one of the biggest guys I’ve engaged in sword fights with. In retrospect, it’s actually amazing how he didn’t pancake me to death in bed. Ok, I’m obviously exaggerating a little bit here (he’s not the Hulk), but he’s still objectively a pretty big dude. He’s big but muscular. So I thought, “hey, I would love to challenge myself!” I mean, how will you get better if you’re scared of trying new things and going outside of your comfort zone?

After telling me that he had downed a couple of tequila-based drinks, he told me to come to his place. We just so happened to live in the same neighborhood so I could easily serve these buns to him with no delivery fee. Pretending to play hard to get, I expressed my concern about the timing of our late night rendezvous but he refused to let go of his prey by saying:

“You could sleep over if you want ;)”

And with just one winky emoji, I let all my guards down and heedlessly made my way to his place.

I was astounded by his size when he showed up at his apartment’s parking garage. He did give me a cuddly Hulk vibe; he looked like he could simultaneously cuddle the shit out of me and destroy my bones in a matter of seconds. Standing next to him made me feel like a dwarf, but for some weird psychological reasons, it turned me the fuck on. I don’t know, there’s this thought of big guys being capable of interchangeably protecting me from imminent danger and throwing me around that always successfully gets me all hot and bothered.

He lived in a relatively nice two bedroom apartment in Los Angeles, which was surprisingly hard to find in the neighborhood. And yes, he and his roommates properly used their nicely decorated living room space for its intended purpose instead of turning it into a rentable Airbnb room (yes, I’m throwing shades at the guy from the previous chapter). Navigating my way through the dimly lit living room, I managed to get inside my predator’s bedroom without stumbling upon anything. I was a professional hoe-ninja.

After turning his bedroom lights off, he laid me down on his bed and strangely, things didn’t get sexual at first. We started chatting about the existence of Jose Cuervo on his bedside table and the birthday party he went an hour prior to going on Grindr. For a split second, I thought this was going to be a classy, innocent night. But I guess you know what happened next because reading a story of mine that has no element of sex is like eating fries with no ketchup.

We started making out and it was actually a great make-out session, minus a hint of tequila coming from his breath. His lips were like Christopher Colombus; they went on a journey all over my body in search of a treasure: my penis. Everything was going well and I was enjoying my time with him, right until his penis decided to join the party. And HOLY SHIT… It’s a monster.

To this day, I still think it’s one of the biggest (if not the biggest) penises I have ever seen. I guess I could have sensed it when I was busy grinding my bum on his lap when we were making out, but I was naive. Left with no option, I decided to channel my inner fearless slut and shoved that humongous penis down my throat. It’s not necessarily the length that made the insertion process a strenuous activity, but the thickness of his disco stick almost gave me a dislocated jaw. I thought, “nah son, there’s no way this 9 inches monster would go anywhere near my butthole“. With the help of Jose Cuervo he downed a couple hours ago, he surrendered to my lack of courage in facing the challenge in front of me and settled for my above average blowjob. As much as I cared about pleasing my partner in bed, I cared more about the well-being of my digestive system. We ended up passing out after we both climaxed, and I slept like a little baby being held by the snuggle monster behind me.

The morning after our tequila-induced rendezvous, we had small talks about Playstation games and the typical LA traffic. When he walked me out of his bedroom, and I noticed there were three shirtless guys laying nonchalantly on the couch in the living room, silently judging my messy bedroom hair. Not knowing the appropriate action to take in this instance, I just nervously waved my hands at them followed by a slightly awkward “Hi guys! Bye…“, and went straight to the door. But seriously though, can somebody please tell me the appropriate response to getting caught on your walk of shame? This boy needs help!

Why is this an integral part of the story, you might ask? Well… you’ll find out soon enough.